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Sacred Drinking Rituals: The Buffalo Club

Ah, The Buffalo Club. A secret society of drinkers who are both gentlemanly, but also ready to take a drink like a college man. There are just a few rules of the club, I may actually be breaking the first rule, and that is that you do not talk about the Buffalo Club, this is to keep anonymity to the members. I don’t recall being apart of the club.

Anyone can join the Buffalo Club, but like I said you just have to be willing to follow a small set of rules - For the rest of your life and be willing to accept the consequences of not following these rules. It is an oath a creed of drinking. You also must always be willing to enforce the rules with those you know are apart of the club. No free rides on this train.

So what is the Buffalo Club you ask?

The Buffalo Club is everywhere, we are everywhere, and we are better than everyone else. Once you take the pledge to join us, you must choose to do so with a group of friends you drink with consistently. You form a pact within that subgroup of gentleman that from here on out you will forever hold every drink for the rest of your life (in your more than likely less dominant hand), your lefty.

So why do we do this?

Because you shake with your right hand, so you no longer have to switch your hands when meeting someone new. The sweat from your ice cold drink doesn’t get on the others hand, or you don’t waste time, and it’s just fucking better, ok?

If you are seen with your adult beverage in your right hand ever, a member of the Buffalo Club may call you out for this offence, and enforce action by quietly saying, “Buffalo” to you. If this happens to you, you must drink the entirety of your drink and look like a failure for not following this sacred law. No matter where you are you have to follow the rule, even if you’re at a dinner party with your boss and he thinks you’re a crazy person for chugging a vodka on the rocks. Rules are rules, broski. If you don’t follow them you’re a cuck.

Have fun with this, it’s a great brotherhood and secret social club to be apart of. You’ll notice those that are apart of it for the rest of your life.

 

 


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